So I have thought about this a lot, and I have begun to formulate some mostly baseless and occasionally reasonable stereotypes about people of various blood types.
O-: The universal donor, what a bitch! They just give to everyone and they won't take anything for themselves. They are all holier than thou with their whole altruism thing. They don't mean it though they are just trying to make you feel bad. Sure they'll give you their blood, but they'll also give you shit you don't want. They will give you their garbage or herpes or maybe like a dog who craps everywhere. They also always make you feel like you owe them all of the damn time. Like this fucking O- bastard was at my house and he was like "here you pick the channel" but he said it as though he really wanted to, but he'd make a sacrifice for me. I felt bad, but I wasn't about to let that fucker play mind games with me. I put on Dexter and it was a fantastic episode. I'm not letting that little reverse-psychology using falsely altruistic cock bag manipulate me with "feelings". They are also hugely internally oppressive. They steal shit from other O- people all of the time. That really doesn't make any sense to me.
O+: Have you ever seen Office Space? Well I don't really give a shit if you have, because I have and for this story that's all that matters. There is a character in that movie who says "OH!" all of the damn time. They are like that. They use monosyllabic (why does that word have so many syllables?) ejaculations (hehe) constantly. OH WOW WHOA ZOUNDS it never fucking ends. I really just wanna punch all of those O+s in the face. I wish they could just use real sentences, like "that is some cool shit." rather than "OH!" Would a little bit of articulation really hurt that much man? I mean maybe you'd be tolerable if you would speak ANY FUCKING LANGUAGE!
A-: Always obsessing and never succeeding. They would be fun to watch if they weren't so whiny. They are like Wiley Coyote if he could talk, and CONSTANTLY PISSED ME OFF! I mean sometimes shit doesn't work out that's just the worst thing ever idn't it? People who never do anything right need to get used to failing, but sadly these bastards never do. They are perfectionists without the talent or dedication to effectively live up to their own standards. They are the kind of people that ask you to read their writing and say, "Don't be mean, or I'll cry." They can't deal with seeing their own failings, which is an issue since they always have so goddamned many of them. A-s have usually have a few talents, but they sacrifice them in order to be good at everything. It's kinda sad how they just end up mediocore at most things and shitty at everything else. They also never stick with anything, because they quit when they come to terms with the inevitability of their own failure.
A+: These are the ones who are GOOD at everything. It pisses me off as much as the ones that suck at everything. I sit around playing some hackey sack getting up to fifteen kicks and then suddenly some A+ kid bursts in and gets 30 while reciting all of Hamlet's Soliloquies, and then leaves with the only attractive girl in the circle. This may sound like hyperbole, but it really isn't. A+ assholes are often members of yacht clubs, country clubs, and student government. They are the kind of kids who know everything about sports, and everything about fashion. They never know shit about books or like really interesting things. They can definitely tell you who won the super bowl in 1999, but they cannot tell you who killed Mr. Burns. They seem smart because they do well in school, but they don't actually learn anything. They are just moving forward through the process till they get to have a big corporate job with lots of money.
B+: These people are just radically absurd individuals. All they do is wildly run about smashing things and sniffing glue. They do a lot of drugs (which is acceptable) but they never chill on their drugs they just get more and more dangerous. I'm sure you know people who just do some drugs and then they just wanna punch and kick and hurt people. They are generally rude all of the time, but they can be a lot of fun. They are probably my favorite blood type because they are totally genuine. If nothing else they are friendly, but dangerously combustible. These are the kind of people who become terrorists. The smart ones become ecoterrorists (respectable) and the other ones become the bomby kind of terrorists (just plain rude) They are at least genuine and principled. They are the kind of people who sit outside smoking cigarettes and calling everyone sellouts. That kinda gets old after a while.
B-: The least genuine of all of the people in the land. They sit around concealing their flaws by pointing out other people's shortcomings. There is a serious issue with this approach to life. The flaws they point out in order to ingratiate themselves with genuinely better people are often the same flaws that they manifest themselves. they approach people and say "god that kid is fat" and the response is often "dude you're a fuckin' whale" It must be hard to judge everyone when you suck so goddamned bad. They also suck ass at sports and gambling. They are basically just coniving insects who lack an ability to act as individuals without failing miserably.
AB+: The greedy mooching bastards. They take everyone's shit and then they store it in like a giant AB+ storehouse. It's a big conspiracy to make AB+ the richest blood type of all. They are slowly taking over media and commerce to forward their scheming agenda. An AB+ has no qualm with giving another AB+ any amount of money or goods. When it comes to giving anything to a person of any other blood type they are the stingiest of the stingy. They tend to smell like garlic, which is weird.
AB-: The greatest blood type of all. My blood type. Smart, charming, funny, maybe a vampire. AB- is egalitarian and nice, but also down to earth and genuine. We are also known for our modesty and reluctance to toot our own horn. Some say that we are arrogant, but I think that's just silly. There is also a rumor that we look down on other blood types, but as you can see I portrayed all blood types with complete and total accuracy.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
God damn!
Ok so I'm very confused. I have been wandering the internets reading random crap, and I realized that NO ONE WRITES ABOUT THE INDIAN RESERVATION AS A STATE OF EXCEPTION! I have found a few articles that almost make the point that I wanna see. It just seems clear to me that the reservation is a space where restrictions on law are suspended and the people living there are bare life. They lack the ability to be involved in the political regulation of their existence. The monitoring of bodies and regulation of individual behavior is what is called biopower in the words of my favorite Frenchman with a fetish for midgets, Michel Foucault. Certain people espouse opinions and those opinions are given the weight of facts because the position from which they are ennunciated is one of power. In the context of Native Americans the United States Government determines the degree to which Indians get to be American citizens. The reservation is a space where the forces of power have total control. Now I am in calculus and I'm in high school. I don't see why no one who is writing about this. It's just so gosh darn easy.
I know that sounded pretentious and lame, but I am very frustrated with the lack of literature on this topic, but there are many more important things on my mind. For instance what would the world be like if people were not racist, but rather they discriminated against people based on blood type. The world would be a better place, because no one could tell, except for doctors, but doctors are assholes anyway. Fuck doctors they are annoying with their lab coats and their messy handwriting and their watching me and asking me to take my pants off and shit. Doctors would be assholes whether they were racist or not. I think that I'm gonna start discriminating against people based on blood type, but I need to figure out what stereotypes I have about each blood type. I also have to figure out what blood types exist. Later today I'll publish my typism manifesto.
The last thought I have for today is that I have realized that when I get high I am pretty positive that I am writing a book that is descriptive of everything happening around me. I can always predict how people are going to act and why they would act that way based on their character. This trait is really bizarre, but I think it is a result of my propensity for writing. Ben Hoffman does math and shit, so I'm starting to get interested in how weed works. It's nifty shit.
I know that sounded pretentious and lame, but I am very frustrated with the lack of literature on this topic, but there are many more important things on my mind. For instance what would the world be like if people were not racist, but rather they discriminated against people based on blood type. The world would be a better place, because no one could tell, except for doctors, but doctors are assholes anyway. Fuck doctors they are annoying with their lab coats and their messy handwriting and their watching me and asking me to take my pants off and shit. Doctors would be assholes whether they were racist or not. I think that I'm gonna start discriminating against people based on blood type, but I need to figure out what stereotypes I have about each blood type. I also have to figure out what blood types exist. Later today I'll publish my typism manifesto.
The last thought I have for today is that I have realized that when I get high I am pretty positive that I am writing a book that is descriptive of everything happening around me. I can always predict how people are going to act and why they would act that way based on their character. This trait is really bizarre, but I think it is a result of my propensity for writing. Ben Hoffman does math and shit, so I'm starting to get interested in how weed works. It's nifty shit.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
It's been a while.
I have not written in a long time. I was caught up with debate and exams and other things that generally make life more stressful and less fun. I was really really excited about Obama's inauguration. In the vein of my lack of writing I slept through the inauguration. I woke up at 3 o clock on the afternoon of January 20th. I sauntered downstairs to my empty living room. I realized that I had slept through not only the inauguration, but also my parents' inauguration party. There was cold pizza left though. That was nice. My mom left a note on the kitchen table. It read: "Congratulations Mike, you managed to sleep through the most historically meaningful event of your life. I hope you're proud." I was. I had never slept that late in my life it was a big step for me.
I have also changed my schedule at school. I dropped my favorite class (Literature of war) in favor of having extra time to work on lacrosse, and replaced it with Science Fiction Literature. This trade seems a little bit regretable at least after two days of sci-fi. I simply couldn't be more bored. Every conversation seems like it is going to end up going in the same direction, at least in my mind. Blah blah Heidegger blah blah ontology blah blah technology. At a certain point I am probably bound to get sick of it unless I can bring a new interesting perspective to this class, but I probably won't.
Today I was listening to "Heaven is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle (Pause for laughter) it's embarrassing I know. This lead me to go on a small existentialist tangent inside my head. If you take for granted that Heaven is in fact a place on Earth then it is only a reasonable extrapolation that Hell is also a place on Earth. So where are Heaven and Hell on Earth? Apparently they are geographically distinguishable on Earth according to the former lead singer of the G0-gos. I have decided that Heaven and Hell are probably pretty close to each other. In fact I have also concluded that they are near my house. Specifically that the Rio shopping center might just be Heaven, but the Golf outlet inside of it is most certainly Hell. The two of them are inseperable, but all of the people at the Golf store are unsufferable assholes.
There is a shortage of funding for hospitals in modern society. People just don't seem to care anymore. Hospitals are understaffed and the employees are overworked. I think there is a solution to this problem. The sale of hospital food to the general public. I mean if I were hungry and I drove by suburban hospital and I knew I could drop 6 bucks on a burger some fries and a coke I know I would. The hospitals would be able to support themselves and there would be a delicious stop on the way home from school. It would also stop people from laughing at me about the time we were high and I suggested we eat hospital food.
I have also changed my schedule at school. I dropped my favorite class (Literature of war) in favor of having extra time to work on lacrosse, and replaced it with Science Fiction Literature. This trade seems a little bit regretable at least after two days of sci-fi. I simply couldn't be more bored. Every conversation seems like it is going to end up going in the same direction, at least in my mind. Blah blah Heidegger blah blah ontology blah blah technology. At a certain point I am probably bound to get sick of it unless I can bring a new interesting perspective to this class, but I probably won't.
Today I was listening to "Heaven is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle (Pause for laughter) it's embarrassing I know. This lead me to go on a small existentialist tangent inside my head. If you take for granted that Heaven is in fact a place on Earth then it is only a reasonable extrapolation that Hell is also a place on Earth. So where are Heaven and Hell on Earth? Apparently they are geographically distinguishable on Earth according to the former lead singer of the G0-gos. I have decided that Heaven and Hell are probably pretty close to each other. In fact I have also concluded that they are near my house. Specifically that the Rio shopping center might just be Heaven, but the Golf outlet inside of it is most certainly Hell. The two of them are inseperable, but all of the people at the Golf store are unsufferable assholes.
There is a shortage of funding for hospitals in modern society. People just don't seem to care anymore. Hospitals are understaffed and the employees are overworked. I think there is a solution to this problem. The sale of hospital food to the general public. I mean if I were hungry and I drove by suburban hospital and I knew I could drop 6 bucks on a burger some fries and a coke I know I would. The hospitals would be able to support themselves and there would be a delicious stop on the way home from school. It would also stop people from laughing at me about the time we were high and I suggested we eat hospital food.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Slim Pickinz
I'd like to introduce Slim Pickinz. He is a high school running back in NCAA 2008. He is from Dover Base Hsg in Delaware. Slim is a high school senior, and he must use the Delaware state playoffs to showcase himself for colleges. His first challenge is to lead underdog Funkytown High past perennial powerhouse Wilmington High School.
A stunning performance from the often impressive senior sparked a 62-37 upset. Pickinz ran for 326 yards and 6 touchdowns on only 13 carries. He is starting to attract some serious attention from the scouts. Maybe he'll fulfill his life's dream of playing football at Cal. Next up is a talented Brookside squad. Let's hope that Slim Pickinz can keep his game face on.
A 52-10 thrahshing of Brookside occurred despite a lackluster performance from Pickinz. While his 177 yards and 3 touchdowns were alright his 4 fumbles were unacceptable. He is going to need to bring his best to the semifinals against Lewes. Pickinz needs to turn some heads if he's going to have Pac-10 scouts at the Delaware state championship next week.
Pickinz was unable to produce especially jawdropping numbers, but he was still impressive running for 236 yards and 2 touchdowns with only 15 touches. He also finally went a game without fumbling. Most of his yards came on two early touchdown runs of 85 and 81 yards. Funkytown defeated Lewes 24-17 to advance to the state championship against Kent Acres and give Slim Pickinz some time in the national spotlight.
A solid 184 yards with 2 touchdowns on 22 carries pushed Funkytown past Kent Acres and into Delaware state history as the only high school named after a crappy song that's stuck in my head ever to win a state championship. Slim Pickinz attracted quite a following as scouts from both USC and Cal were in attendance to observe his performance.
Slim Pickinz has found his way into the second string position on the University of California Golden Bears' running back depth chart. With his dream of becoming a star there with arms reach we will leave him for now. Don't worry I'll get bored tomorrow and Slim's tale will continue.
A stunning performance from the often impressive senior sparked a 62-37 upset. Pickinz ran for 326 yards and 6 touchdowns on only 13 carries. He is starting to attract some serious attention from the scouts. Maybe he'll fulfill his life's dream of playing football at Cal. Next up is a talented Brookside squad. Let's hope that Slim Pickinz can keep his game face on.
A 52-10 thrahshing of Brookside occurred despite a lackluster performance from Pickinz. While his 177 yards and 3 touchdowns were alright his 4 fumbles were unacceptable. He is going to need to bring his best to the semifinals against Lewes. Pickinz needs to turn some heads if he's going to have Pac-10 scouts at the Delaware state championship next week.
Pickinz was unable to produce especially jawdropping numbers, but he was still impressive running for 236 yards and 2 touchdowns with only 15 touches. He also finally went a game without fumbling. Most of his yards came on two early touchdown runs of 85 and 81 yards. Funkytown defeated Lewes 24-17 to advance to the state championship against Kent Acres and give Slim Pickinz some time in the national spotlight.
A solid 184 yards with 2 touchdowns on 22 carries pushed Funkytown past Kent Acres and into Delaware state history as the only high school named after a crappy song that's stuck in my head ever to win a state championship. Slim Pickinz attracted quite a following as scouts from both USC and Cal were in attendance to observe his performance.
Slim Pickinz has found his way into the second string position on the University of California Golden Bears' running back depth chart. With his dream of becoming a star there with arms reach we will leave him for now. Don't worry I'll get bored tomorrow and Slim's tale will continue.
Mornings
I woke up today at 7:15. For those of you who haven't noticed today is shitdamn Saturday. I don't know what I did to deserve this, or why my interview this morning was so far away or so early, but I was forced to suffer through that, and now I am exhausted. It's also exams, which just adds another inconvenience to my life. I haven't done anything this week, except take exams and study for exams. The only productive thing I have done since the last post I wrote is discover the truly racist nature of McDonald's snack wraps. It's FRIED CHICKEN RAPPED IN A TORTILLA!! McDonald's is marketing to a pretty specific demographic now aren't they? Speaking of marketing I'm pretty sure the General Knowledge Bureau has the worst acronym ever for an information agency. Their website is KGB.com. KGB? Really? It's pretty clear that they are just excommunists who stole KGB intelligence and brought it with them overseas. They are probably still watching us even now, so that they can make sure they know EVERYTHING.
I recently sent a text message to my friend that read "I was tryna cop some jont and my man cised me. You tryna chill for a minute?" He responded "Dank dank." This conversation never actually happened, but it totally could have. I have realized that my friends and I converse in a language all our own. It is not like a sneaky drug code. That conversation could have been about anything from pot to sandwiches. When I write I avoid using this crazy vernacular, but I'd like to take a moment here to introduce and maybe analyze the etymology of the way we speak.
Tryna- Literally means trying to. It could be sexual (are you tryna with that girl?) or platonic (I'mma go to six flags. You tryna?)
Jont- Pretty much any noun. It literally could mean anything. (Lemme see that jont. I'm tryna get some jont. Where's my jont?) Jont is a strange mutation of the word joint I think. (also Jank Jams Janx-A-lanx Jiggidy-Jont Jontpiece)
Finna- Literally fixing to, it's like tryna but it can't stand alone. You can say I'm tryna but not I'm finna unless finna has an object
Cise - To give (Cise me that jont) I can't even explain where that came from.
Jonefest- Something especially exciting (Look at that jonefest!) Matt made this word up I was there.
Ballstown- Matt's favorite place in the world. This word only comes up when Matt is talking or people are making fun of him. He made this up too. (Hey guys I'm Matt, jonefest ballstown jonefest ballstown)
Dank - Either high quality weed (I'm blazin' that dank) or an adjective meaning exceptionally good (Man this sandwich is dank) I think this comes from the actual word dank which means wet, and sticky is close to wet . . . it makes sense to me.
Dank Dank - an expression of approval (You wanna get dinner? Dank dank) or really good weed (I got some of that dank dank)
That's enough slang for now. I think you understand that while most of our language isn't original it is certainly not English. I really am just gonna start rambling if I don't stop soon, and I really need to play some NHL 09.
I recently sent a text message to my friend that read "I was tryna cop some jont and my man cised me. You tryna chill for a minute?" He responded "Dank dank." This conversation never actually happened, but it totally could have. I have realized that my friends and I converse in a language all our own. It is not like a sneaky drug code. That conversation could have been about anything from pot to sandwiches. When I write I avoid using this crazy vernacular, but I'd like to take a moment here to introduce and maybe analyze the etymology of the way we speak.
Tryna- Literally means trying to. It could be sexual (are you tryna with that girl?) or platonic (I'mma go to six flags. You tryna?)
Jont- Pretty much any noun. It literally could mean anything. (Lemme see that jont. I'm tryna get some jont. Where's my jont?) Jont is a strange mutation of the word joint I think. (also Jank Jams Janx-A-lanx Jiggidy-Jont Jontpiece)
Finna- Literally fixing to, it's like tryna but it can't stand alone. You can say I'm tryna but not I'm finna unless finna has an object
Cise - To give (Cise me that jont) I can't even explain where that came from.
Jonefest- Something especially exciting (Look at that jonefest!) Matt made this word up I was there.
Ballstown- Matt's favorite place in the world. This word only comes up when Matt is talking or people are making fun of him. He made this up too. (Hey guys I'm Matt, jonefest ballstown jonefest ballstown)
Dank - Either high quality weed (I'm blazin' that dank) or an adjective meaning exceptionally good (Man this sandwich is dank) I think this comes from the actual word dank which means wet, and sticky is close to wet . . . it makes sense to me.
Dank Dank - an expression of approval (You wanna get dinner? Dank dank) or really good weed (I got some of that dank dank)
That's enough slang for now. I think you understand that while most of our language isn't original it is certainly not English. I really am just gonna start rambling if I don't stop soon, and I really need to play some NHL 09.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Music
Yesterday I just wrote a list of movie quotes. I realized that the movies I chose said a lot about me as a person, or at least I think they did. Given that I decided that my musical taste is also probably pretty important. Before I start talking about albums I love, I need to begrudgingly give credit to my good friend Matt who introduced me to a lot of the rap on this list.
5 albums I really like (in no particular order)
1. Somewhere in the Between - Streetlight Manifesto: The fast paced horns complement the guitar well on this fast paced album with its strange themes of death and sadness. The themes of the album don't seem to fit the musical style, yet strangely they are worked in with a deftness that borders on astounding. As far as ska albums go this is the top of the pile. The best songs are probably 40 days and The Receiving End of it All. Both songs have well written lyrics to go with well synchronized musicianship that makes them two of my favorite songs.
2. Theater of The Mind - Ludacris: This album includes what may well be my favorite rap song ever: Undisputed featuring Floyd "Money" Merryweather. The song includes references to various sports teams as well as an inordinate amount of talk about Luda's penis. The intro to the album is a British man yelling, which is always fun, and the second song begins with "I'm the MVP. I'm stupid with this rap shit" It is a fitting start to an absurdly aggressive album. I was impressed. This is definitely Ludacris's best work
3. Sublime - Sublime: An obvious choice, but that's because it's an absolute classic. It contains all of Sublime's best work. Santeria, Wrong Way, What I Got, and Doin' Time are all there. Those songs are all absolutely fantastic. The mix of fast paced songs and mellow jams makes this album a perfect mix to blaze/relax to.
4. The Quilt - Gym Class Heroes: This album moved Gym Class Heroes into "band I actively try to listen to" status. Prior to The Quilt I thought that GCH was an ok band, but all of their songs were basically the same. This album includes some straight up rap, as well as some more instrumental/singing centric songs, and even a few ska-esque tunes that are really sweet. The first several tracks are all fantastic especially, Peace Sign/Index Down, Blinded by the Sun, Guilty as Charged, and Catch Me If You Can.
5. Icky Thump - White Stripes: This album takes Jack White's impressive musical talent and uses it to produce 14 very distinctly different songs. Conquest is in a traditional Spanish style, while Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn is very clearly Irish. Even the songs that are in a rock and roll style are different as Icky Thump and Martyr for my Love for you are two very different sounds.
I would really suggest looking up and listening to these albums if you haven't. I'll make a real post later. I'm in stats right now, so I can't focus on thinking about a post.
5 albums I really like (in no particular order)
1. Somewhere in the Between - Streetlight Manifesto: The fast paced horns complement the guitar well on this fast paced album with its strange themes of death and sadness. The themes of the album don't seem to fit the musical style, yet strangely they are worked in with a deftness that borders on astounding. As far as ska albums go this is the top of the pile. The best songs are probably 40 days and The Receiving End of it All. Both songs have well written lyrics to go with well synchronized musicianship that makes them two of my favorite songs.
2. Theater of The Mind - Ludacris: This album includes what may well be my favorite rap song ever: Undisputed featuring Floyd "Money" Merryweather. The song includes references to various sports teams as well as an inordinate amount of talk about Luda's penis. The intro to the album is a British man yelling, which is always fun, and the second song begins with "I'm the MVP. I'm stupid with this rap shit" It is a fitting start to an absurdly aggressive album. I was impressed. This is definitely Ludacris's best work
3. Sublime - Sublime: An obvious choice, but that's because it's an absolute classic. It contains all of Sublime's best work. Santeria, Wrong Way, What I Got, and Doin' Time are all there. Those songs are all absolutely fantastic. The mix of fast paced songs and mellow jams makes this album a perfect mix to blaze/relax to.
4. The Quilt - Gym Class Heroes: This album moved Gym Class Heroes into "band I actively try to listen to" status. Prior to The Quilt I thought that GCH was an ok band, but all of their songs were basically the same. This album includes some straight up rap, as well as some more instrumental/singing centric songs, and even a few ska-esque tunes that are really sweet. The first several tracks are all fantastic especially, Peace Sign/Index Down, Blinded by the Sun, Guilty as Charged, and Catch Me If You Can.
5. Icky Thump - White Stripes: This album takes Jack White's impressive musical talent and uses it to produce 14 very distinctly different songs. Conquest is in a traditional Spanish style, while Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn is very clearly Irish. Even the songs that are in a rock and roll style are different as Icky Thump and Martyr for my Love for you are two very different sounds.
I would really suggest looking up and listening to these albums if you haven't. I'll make a real post later. I'm in stats right now, so I can't focus on thinking about a post.
Monday, January 5, 2009
My movie thingy
So today I was introduced to an exercise where you pick fifteen of your favorite movies and then pick a favorite quote and post them online somewhere. Then people can try and guess the movies. Here we go.
1. Come on! Toilets are always funny!
2. And so, the draft will being tomorrow as more and more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution, but naturally, we're not listening
3. The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand?
4. What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.
5. What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
6.One day my father just said, "Goddamn it, you're seventeen, stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!"
7. - You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine.
-What did you have for dinner?
-Was it cocaine?
8. Great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.
9. Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight.
10. He's blond, he's pissed, he'll see you in the lists, Lichtenstein! He's blond, he's tanned, he comes from Gelderland, he comes from Gelderland! Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland... Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland.
11. Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
12.You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!
13. I play hockey and I fornicate, 'cause those are the two most fun things to do in cold weather.
14. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
15.-We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
-Martha Stewart.
-Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.
Now go ahead and tell me the movies these come from.
1. Come on! Toilets are always funny!
2. And so, the draft will being tomorrow as more and more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution, but naturally, we're not listening
3. The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand?
4. What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.
5. What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
6.One day my father just said, "Goddamn it, you're seventeen, stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!"
7. - You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine.
-What did you have for dinner?
-Was it cocaine?
8. Great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.
9. Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight.
10. He's blond, he's pissed, he'll see you in the lists, Lichtenstein! He's blond, he's tanned, he comes from Gelderland, he comes from Gelderland! Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland... Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland.
11. Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
12.You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!
13. I play hockey and I fornicate, 'cause those are the two most fun things to do in cold weather.
14. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
15.-We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
-Martha Stewart.
-Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.
Now go ahead and tell me the movies these come from.
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