and how?

This blog is going to be the official website of my manager mode team in FIFA 09. Right now Celtic sits atop the Scottish Premier League table with a record of 8-0 lead by Dutch striker Jan Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink (from here on known as JJ) whose 22 goals lead the SPL. Now that you have the introduction I will provide updates on today's progress.

Game 9: Hamilton @ Celtic
The game started quickly for Celtic with JJ netting 3 goals in the first 30 minutes. He scored two more later and our goalie whatever his name is made several impressive saves to protect the shut out and make up for a lackluster defensive performance. Their combined efforts resulted in a 5-0 victory to solidify our spot atop the table.

Game 10: Celtic @ Heart
A slow first half ended with fire works as Aaron (made up name) McGeady (real name) one touched the rebound of one of JJ's blasts into the net. The second half heated up for Celtic as Mcgeady doubled his tally and JJ scored 3 quick goals to seal another 5-0 victory with only one game remaing until the biggest game of the season against second place Rangers who trail Celtic by only a point.

Game 11: Dundee @ Celtic
I simulated this game, we won 2-1 now it's tme for Rangers.

Game 12: Celtic @ Rangers
This game will be written in a different style. This will be a running diary of the game filled with my stream of conciousness and commentary.

0:00: Celtic has made a substantial change to the roster. They signed a young striker named Doug Dawson. He's from Italy . . . wtf? The formation will now be a 3-4-1-2 with Dawson and McDonald up top and JJ playing center forward. We'll see how this goes.

1:09 Dawson makes a pretty stunning first impression. He dribbled through the Rangers defense and fired a shot to the top right corner. I'll be honest that was a pretty sick start to a career. Definitely better than the start of Mark Wahlberg's musical career. I am feelin some good vibrations about this oddly named italian. '

6:34 HE ALMOST DID IT AGAIN. For Fuck's sake this kid is sick. JJ gave him a gorgeous pass, but the stupid goalie made a great save.

11:20 he's been jinxed :-(

14:23 OH MY GOD MY GOALIE THREW IT TO THE WRONG TEAM

14:26 Thank God they suck

21:34 JJ is back. Dawson's shot was stopped and JJ just fired in the rebound. If JJ is acceptable is DD ok? The answer is yes. The logical step from DD is to Tits. There will be no argument here. Our new star forward will be known as Tits.

40:41 Tits is a star! No one can take their eyes of Tits! Tits is the center of attention for everyone here! Tits is really getting everyone up! No flimsy cheering for Tits only the most orgasmic of cheers! Tits scored a goal by the way. That's why everyone loves Tits.

45:00 It's halftime and we are up 3-0 thanks mostly to the magic of Tits. JJ has also looked good in his new spot.

49:10 We turned the ball over. They scored. That sucked.

59:40 JJ just missed two wide open chances uggggh this game is going south faster than Thomas Jefferson on a booty call. Speaking of which his statue at the monuments has a clear erection.

62:40 Speaking of erections Tits just gave one to half of the stadium with his third goal of the game. He just caught a pass from JJ and deposited it in the corner of the net. This kid is something special I can feel it in my chest.

78:22 My only Asian player is stunningly tired. I should hire a conditioning coach. If Asians are tired imagine how the rest of the players feel.

86:13 Another goal for Tits still awesome.

88:22 JJ scores. I thought this was a rivalry. . .

90:00 That was brutal. This is more of landslide than South Park vs. Family Guy.

CELTIC IS UNSTOPPABLE!! I'm proud of the boyz. Keep checking the blog for more updates on the season.

I'm not sure how or why this happened

Today I make a blog. There is no purpose to it. It's an exercise in boredom. It's not much different from anything else I have done recently in that respect. This winter break has been filled with emptiness. I have had so much free time that I can't do anything. Everything seems so easily rescheduled that nothing ever gets scheduled. It's becoming an issue because I need to finish applying to college. College is just another step on the journey, but it is a step people make you take, which sucks. If life is a journey of self discovery, which I hope it is otherwise I am moving in a horrific direction, then you should be able to pick your path. Of course the world can't tolerate a new generation with new ideas phasing out the old so they put old ideas in new heads and try to make their mistakes our own. It's working.
That paragraph made me sad. I think I should talk about something happy. I like kittens and I like muffins. I was furious in The Spirit when Samuel L. Jackson killed a kitten named Muffin. I was mad for about two minutes until I realized that it was Samuel L. Jackson and that in this day and age his clear insanity makes everything he does hilarious. I am starting to believe that his character in The Spirit was just a documentary of him that was edited and digitally injected into the rest of The Spirit. Nothing about his character had shit to do with the movie, and besides that it seems reasonable that SLJ would hate eggs and own a Nazi uniform. He is certainly eccentric enough. This is the man after all who agreed to do two movies based on single lines. The obvious "I have had it with these motha fuckin snakes on my mutha fuckin plane." from the classic Snakes on a Plane as well as the lesser known Lakeview Terrace in which he yelled "You have to do what I say! I'm the Police!" He is also going to have the title role in the TV movie Afro Samurai. Which is a cartoon that is almost certainly based on SLJ's life.