Mornings

I woke up today at 7:15. For those of you who haven't noticed today is shitdamn Saturday. I don't know what I did to deserve this, or why my interview this morning was so far away or so early, but I was forced to suffer through that, and now I am exhausted. It's also exams, which just adds another inconvenience to my life. I haven't done anything this week, except take exams and study for exams. The only productive thing I have done since the last post I wrote is discover the truly racist nature of McDonald's snack wraps. It's FRIED CHICKEN RAPPED IN A TORTILLA!! McDonald's is marketing to a pretty specific demographic now aren't they? Speaking of marketing I'm pretty sure the General Knowledge Bureau has the worst acronym ever for an information agency. Their website is KGB.com. KGB? Really? It's pretty clear that they are just excommunists who stole KGB intelligence and brought it with them overseas. They are probably still watching us even now, so that they can make sure they know EVERYTHING.
I recently sent a text message to my friend that read "I was tryna cop some jont and my man cised me. You tryna chill for a minute?" He responded "Dank dank." This conversation never actually happened, but it totally could have. I have realized that my friends and I converse in a language all our own. It is not like a sneaky drug code. That conversation could have been about anything from pot to sandwiches. When I write I avoid using this crazy vernacular, but I'd like to take a moment here to introduce and maybe analyze the etymology of the way we speak.

Tryna- Literally means trying to. It could be sexual (are you tryna with that girl?) or platonic (I'mma go to six flags. You tryna?)
Jont- Pretty much any noun. It literally could mean anything. (Lemme see that jont. I'm tryna get some jont. Where's my jont?) Jont is a strange mutation of the word joint I think. (also Jank Jams Janx-A-lanx Jiggidy-Jont Jontpiece)
Finna- Literally fixing to, it's like tryna but it can't stand alone. You can say I'm tryna but not I'm finna unless finna has an object
Cise - To give (Cise me that jont) I can't even explain where that came from.
Jonefest- Something especially exciting (Look at that jonefest!) Matt made this word up I was there.
Ballstown- Matt's favorite place in the world. This word only comes up when Matt is talking or people are making fun of him. He made this up too. (Hey guys I'm Matt, jonefest ballstown jonefest ballstown)
Dank - Either high quality weed (I'm blazin' that dank) or an adjective meaning exceptionally good (Man this sandwich is dank) I think this comes from the actual word dank which means wet, and sticky is close to wet . . . it makes sense to me.
Dank Dank - an expression of approval (You wanna get dinner? Dank dank) or really good weed (I got some of that dank dank)

That's enough slang for now. I think you understand that while most of our language isn't original it is certainly not English. I really am just gonna start rambling if I don't stop soon, and I really need to play some NHL 09.